ON ANGER

In contrast to the popular belief that says emotional freedom is being freed from ‘negative’ emotions, liberation from our past is hardly possible without our willingness to embrace the all spectrum of our feelings. Yes, even the ones we spent our entire life trying to do away with— anger, envy, grief.

The normal reaction to any abuse, neglect and betrayal should be anger. But if we grew up in environments where anger expression is forbidden, we would repress our feelings and deny the memories of what actually happened. 

We lock our resentment away because we are fearful of our own uncontrollable rage. We fear the feeling of being out of control.

Many of us who grow up in dysfunctional homes do not have a healthy relationship with anger. Growing up, it was not safe to express your anger openly and outwardly, so we went inside with it- where it fermented grow. Later, it seeps into our lives in the form of depression (anger turning inward), and all kinds of compulsive and addictive behaviours.

In avoiding getting in touch with our past, we also avoid our underlying feelings, but the buried feelings do not just go away. 

Even when denials shuts out the source of our pain, the painful memories, we still feel the feelings of rage, despair, fear of rejections and abandonment. 

Many of us were brought up to believe that anger is bad, or sinful, but in fact anger is a natural reaction to unjust. Anger is not wrong in itself. The ability to feel it and healthily express it is what makes me feel alive. Repressed Anger often ‘leaks out’ in form of depression (anger directed inward), bitterness, self-pity, low self esteem, inability to trust the world, and etc. Even physical disorder. 

Genuine forgiveness almost always include anger. Working through anger is a key step to the process of releasing past hurt. 

Today,  I encourage you to reclaim rightful anger. Anger can be a healthy emotions with related to as such. It does not have to be built up to the point of explosion.

At first, you may feel guilty for feeling or expressing anger, but because you were told that was the wrong, bad thing. That you were supposed to be quiet, and to make everyone around you feel comfortable.

But for how much longer could you be a silenced puppet?

Anger is the other side of the passion that makes you feel alive. Shutting down the dark side of your emotions, you are also robbed of the joy and liveness that is on the other side.

When someone hurt you, feel angry instead of depression.

When something unjust happen in the world, turn your anger into energy and let it propels action.

When someone crosses your boundaries, practise an assertive, healthy expression of anger. 

 It is not enough to simply identity that we are angry. We also need to have a way of expressing them. 

“Anger is just anger. It isn't good. It isn't bad. It just is. What you do with it is what matters. It's like anything else. You can use it to build or to destroy. You just have to make the choice."


.” 
― Jim Butcher

TODAY’S EXPERIMENT: AN UNSENT POSTCARD

Design a postcard you don’t intend to send.

Pick a person with whom you feel there is unresolved issues, or anger.

Design a postcard to them- write and draw whatever you think would represent your feelings towards them.

List out all the things you wish they could know or change.

Do not censor yourself, simply let your imagination flow.