BEFRIENDING ANXIETY and the fundamental reality

When anxiety knocks on your door, as usual,

you resisted, and you resisted.

you fought, you pushed

you denied, you drowned.

Then suddenly

your anxiety dropped her wolf skin.

Anxiety’s offerings come disguised. 

But she is a humble friend.

She is here to help you shed away those heavy attachments that weigh you down day and night from your essential freedom. 

She tears down all the layers of past wounds that has accumulated in your heart,

so you could expose them, soften them, and gradually melt them away. 

She reveals your existential anxiety for the unknown future.

She invites you to think of the worst case scenario, only to realise that the beast is only monstrous in your head. 

As you sink into imagine what it would be like to ‘lose everything’- health, a job, reputation, money, people, relationship…

You realise that amongst sadness, grief and fear, there might also be a hint of relief.

Even an opportunity for renewed friendship, and a window to more self-acceptance. 

You can allow anxiety to free you

by letting her in.

No matter what form she is taking- health anxiety, relationship anxiety,

No matter what cloak she wears,

the beast only looks huge disguised. 

If you push her away, she will come back and haunt you, in many skilfully disguised form. 

You undoubtedly know this- once you have dealt with one worry, the next one emerges.

Your anxiety helps you train the muscle to live the truth of life- uncertainty. 

The more you can always remember the fundamentally groundless nature of life, 

the more you can see yourself as a fluid, dynamic creature that is interconnected with everything else,

the less your anxiety looks like your enemy. 

Anxiety will then be transformed.

As your friend who from time to time knocks on your door, and say

‘Hello, I am here to remind you that nothing was ever certain. You worry about losing something, but that something had never really belonged to you. ‘ 

Then you can finally relax, because you realised you always have, since day one, live with this reality. 

And somehow, you are still standing. 

Finally, look around you, at this very, very moment. 

You can name at least three things that are pleasant, rich, and worth being grateful for. 

Might as well focus on those.

At least for now. 

“You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.” 
― Pema Chödrön

This week’s experiment:Visualise Anxiety

Visualise anxiety as a person, a symbol, a shape or a colour.

Ask yourself:

If anxiety had a body, how would it look? Is that male or female? What might they be wearing, how would they sound?

If anxiety is a person, who would that be? How would it talk?

What would it say? What does it care about?

Draw, paint, or create a collage. Make your anxiety come alive in a visual form.