To Feel Alive, Be a Flowing River

Rather than a static object, life is more like a flowing river.

A stream that is healthy and alive runs as nature intended- it hits the bank on the left, and then on the right; Regardless of the changing seasons, gravity keeps it moving forward.

It ‘does’ nothing, strive for nothing, but it is perpetually unstoppable. 

Our emotional life is like that. 

To feel alive, we ought to let the current of feelings enter us.

We lean on the left, and then on the right; Aliveness is found somewhere in between.  

If we cling only to one dimension- one side of the river- the watercourse will get blocked, flooded, and eventually die out. 

If we fixate on only wanting happiness, the search for endless sensual pleasure might end up trapping us in addictions. 

If we attach to only wanting peace, we might find relationships so messy and unpredictable that we end up locking ourselves in a lonely void.

If we only want what we regarded as ‘good’ and reject, resist or spiritually bypass the rest, we would eventually feel nothing but numb and disconnected.

The opposite of joy is not pain, but a painful emptiness in which we are merely watching life goes by without being in it. 

Life is not a static state, but a constant movement. 

To meander our emotional life, we can learn to become less discriminative towards our feelings. 

We may practice loosening our judgments, releasing the need to label things as ‘good or bad.’

Because there really isn’t good or bad. 

All feelings, just like the two river banks, are parts of a complementary whole. 

Rather than wanting love and rejecting anger, we come to see there can be no authentic love without also allowing the flame.  

Anger can deepen our acceptance and the capacity to love if we let it. 

A relationship is enlivened when differences are allowed, frustrations are aired, and conflicts are released.

Anger does not cancel love. They are not against each other; they are a complementary whole. 

Rather than seeking gain and fearing loss, we shall reflect on how we often gain by losing, and lose by gaining. 

“Gaining” anything pleasure, possessions, people, reputations… creates attachments, and the fear of losing them weigh us down. 

Losing things give us a chance to be back in touch with our essential nature- which is infinitely more adaptive and resilient then we think. 

We remember that we have come from nothing and will leave this planet with nothing. 

The Real us, aligned with nature, outside of society’s conditioning or parental expectations, are born light and free.

There is no light without dark, no dawn without dusk. 

Pleasant and unpleasant feelings are just like everything else in life: beauty and terror, long and short, high and low, masculine and feminine, breathing in and breathing out. They create each other, shape each other, define each other, complete each other. 

If we can see all emotions as parts of a complementary whole 

We realize that we do not have to fight, or control anything.

No matter what happens, the natural force of life is carrying us through in the exact right direction, exact right time. 

There is no need to hurry, or to hold onto any one mood. 

We can relax, and be like a flowing river- hitting the left bank today,  hitting the right bank tomorrow; With little judgment, perhaps slight preference. 

Be alive, like a flowing river. 

“Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.” 
― Alan Watts

THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT: CREATE A SELF-CARE BOX

There is no right or wrong way to make a self-care box. It can be any size or shape and be made with any materials. It could be a cardboard box, a wooden carton, or a tin can.

Prepare materials including scrap paper, small objects, and photos and images you collect from magazines and newspaper.

Decorate the inside and outside of the box. You may use to add positive affirmations or gentle reminders for yourself. Choose words that speak to you and colours that comfort you in times of need.

Inside the box, put objects that are meaningful or soothing to you. Such as a soothing pebble, pictures of people and things that you love, quotes and poetry, a list of activities you enjoy (can be handy in times of crisis), motivating reminders.

Put your box where it can be easily seen and accessed.

Congratulate yourself in taking a step towards self- empowerment.