SOMETHING IN YOU IS WAITING

Before we can embrace ourselves fully, 

there are many detours,

where we kick around,

denying, resenting and resisting our truths.

We came into the world wild and innocent,

with an open heart and extraordinary sensitivity. 

And yet, we have learned to reject our ‘uncommonness’.

From where did we learn this? 

From the outside world. 

Little humans are vulnerable to the influence of others.

If we were told again and again that we were ‘not alright’, it becomes the story we tell ourselves.

In many spoken and unspoken ways- we are instructed to become ‘normal’, to fit in, to not cause a scene, to not make those around us uneasy. 

And being the gifted chameleon that we are, we quickly learn to do just that.

Like good little soldiers, we embark on this path of perfecting a false self. 

We work hard to design a life according to the ‘shoulds’, 

handed down by our parents, relatives, traditional wisdom, peers and cultural confines. 

The irony is, we soon become trapped in the facade. 

Inside this empty shell, we are left with a feeble, fickle, false belongingness. 

After all, how could we feel truly belonged if all that has fitted in was a made-up version of ourselves? 

Ultimately, it is only by being ourselves could we find a sense of belonging in the world.

The good news is, our intense self is never completely buried. 

The love, the passion, the gifts and the dreams, they are hiding but waiting to be discovered.

Consider this: Something in you is waiting for you. 

Who are they? What do they say?

Do you still remember what it was that pulled your heart’s strings?

The reward for conformity is that everybody likes you except yourself.- Rita Mae Brown

THIS WEEK’S EXPERIMENT: YOUR NAMES

Make a list of all the names that you have been called throughout your life.

Include your official name, nickname, pet name, names given to you by someone special.

Reflect on the feelings that go alongside each name, both positive and negative.

Now, on a big piece of paper and with pens of different colours, write all these names based on how much you identify with each of them today.

For instance, ‘mum’ might be big, in red and at the centre of your paper, while your childhood name has faded to the peripheral.

Then, in the style of a mind map, write down memories and associations you have with each name.

You may want to draw a symbolic caricature for each name, representing different sides of you. Consider their clothing, facial expressions, age and body stance.

There is no strict rule, be open to what comes up!